Also see Scrapbooking.
- Been There, Done That, Have the Layout!
- Born to Scrap...Forced to Work
- Don't Just Stand There. Scrap Something
- Fall Scrapbooking...Harvesting the Crop
- Good to the Last Crop
- Gotta Scrap
- I Could Have Scrapped All Night
- I Only Scrap on Days That End in Y
- I Scrap. Therefore I am.
- I Scrap. Therefore I am...Broke
- I'd Rather Be Scrapping.
- Just Scrap It
- My Scrap Lair
- My Scrapbook
- The Pages of My Scrapbook
- Queen of the Crop
- Same Old Scrap
- Scrap Your Heart Out
- Scrapbook Adventures
- Scrapping is My Life!
- Stop, Crop, and Roll
- A day without scrapbooking is a day without sunshine.
- HELP! I'm scrapping, and I don't want to get up!
- I am a Page Planning, Sticker Art Making, Punch Art Assembling, Scissor Cutting, Acid Free Testing, Supply Shopping Fool.
- Life is simple...Eat, Sleep and Scrap.
- My name is _____ and I'm a scrapaholic.
- No time to crop...too busy deciding where to shop!
- Q: If a tree falls onto a scrapbook in the forest, and there's nobody around to hear it, does it make a sound?
A: It all depends. Is the tree made of acid-free bark? Are the leaves made of lignin? What's the pH level of the tree?
- The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Scrapbooking is life...the rest is details.
- She who dies with the most scrapbooks...Lives on!
- There is a 12-step program for computer addicts and they have online meetings! But those of us addicted to both scrapbooking and computers need a 12 x 12 step program!
- We spend all day making memories, and I spend all night scrapping them!
- When life hands you scraps, make scrapbooks.
- Take Tylenol before cropping to keep your backside from hurting. A stiff back and a sore tush will stifle your creativity.
- Give your hubby photos and a corner rounder. If he is going to sit on the couch and watch sports, at least let him do something productive.
- When journaling, pretend you are standing over the shoulder of someone who is looking at your photos. Write down all the stuff you would normally annoyingly tell that person.
- I have mastered a new scrapbook technique called "Reverse Poundage Illusion." That's where you strategically crop or place stickers to hide the not-so-flattering shots of your butt, tummy, thighs, etc.
- The reverse of the above listed tip is "Photo Revenge-ology." That's where you place unflattering shots of your hateful sister-in-law or snooty cousin front and center on the page and then journal about what a great picture it is.
- When your friends tease you about being addicted to scrapbooking, politely explain that you are a "family historian" and make a mental note to include them in a page known as "Photo Revenge-ology."
Guide to understanding a board addicts day
Slow day: not much to do so spent three hours on my favorite message board.
Busy day: managed to work in three hours on my favorite message board.
Very busy day: barely squeezed in three hours on my favorite message board.
Tale of a Midnight Scrapbooker
It's nine o'clock, the baby's in bed.
"Let's go also," my husband said.
"That sounds great!" in a hug we engage.
"Just give me ten minutes, I'll finish a page!"
Thirty go by, my borders complete;
I lay out my pictures so nice and neat.
I add paper for color and a sticker or two.
How about a die-cut, now that should do!
But then an idea pops into my head-
One more page, then off to bed!
I glance at the clock; it's 11:09!
This is it; I'll draw the line.
But my fingers keep cutting- the ideas are pouring;
From the back room, I can't hear the snoring!
I look back at my work; I've done quite a bit.
It's midnight now- and time to quit.
I clean up my desk and turn off the light.
put my book on the shelf- til tomorrow night!
Twas the Day I Was Scrapping
(By Melody H., revised by Sandi H., Diane S.
and Denny Davis)
'Twas the Day I was scrapping and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, well . . . a snore from my spouse!
My scissors were hung on the wall with such care,
That I'd know if missing were even one pair!
Pictures of my family scattered across the desktop,
And til each one was mounted, I knew I wouldn't stop.
Having put the kids down for a long afternoon nap,
I knew my Idea Book would make my pages a snap!
And me in the mood to create page after page,
My kids will have thousands by the time they're my age.
Then on top of the table there arose such a clatter,
When I dumped my stickers and die-cuts and pens all a-scatter.
I got quickly to work then I started to cringe,
I ran out of photo splits, halting my scrapbooking binge.
I called my CMC, so glad she was near,
placed my order and knew there was no need to fear.
More rapid than horses, I drove in my rig,
pulled up in her driveway and danced a little jig.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but my CM consultant, oh what a dear.
My helpful consultant saying, "See this? It's brand new!"
I looked at my watch; it was a quarter past two!
I put it all on the counter and paid with a shrug,
Her scrapping room gives me pleasure, just like a warm hug.
I bought my splits--and some stickers--and was out in a flash
With no malls, no crowds, no 50-yard dash.
More rapid than horses, I drove to my pad,
Kids and husband were still sleeping; I was embarrassingly glad!
My scissors and paper and tape runner all flew,
As I stuck down my last sticker depicting the Zoo.
My time about over, I moved with such speed,
For scrapping is a delightful rush that I need.
Awake now were my children and my special time was through,
But tomorrow at nap time I'd do it again, we all knew.
So when your cropping session is cut short, and you have no more time,
Just remember my story and my silly little rhyme.
And you will find great comfort in knowing you'll never be done,
being bitten by the scrapping bug is really quite fun!!!
To Creative Memories With Hugs
(you might as well be selling drugs)
My name is Susan; I am sick
I need a 12-step program quick!
My life is out of control;
My photographs have claimed my soul.
This is all my mother's doing,
It's HER Consultant I am suing,
Her album was a work of art
She told me Jenny helped her start.
Mom said, "You'll love this spunky lass,
I met her in my Bible Class.
Let's just go out and take a look,
You needn't even buy a book."
Several HUNDRED dollars later,
My wallet was an empty crater,
I had five books and ten refills,
the splits, the die-cut pack, the frills.
The things she sold me, golly whizzers,
A trimmer and a wavy scissors.
A colored pen set with fine tips
The special stickers--30 strips.
Page protectors keep 'em clean,
Oh poly-want some prop-y-lene.
I spent enough to cause a frown-line.
And support her up- and down-line.
But the MONEY shouldn't have made me vexed,
Compared to all that happened next.
My mother never would have thunk she'd
Turn me to an album junkie.
From fifteen books I ripped out pictures
Showcase BACK to shoe box quick sirs
For twenty years, I'd put them in
ALL WRONG, and must begin again.
The light's still on at 4 a.m.
As I try to caption one more gem
Who can sleep or cook or mop
With ninety photos left to crop?
I really like "creative cropping"
Snip, snip--thirty pounds I'm dropping,
Grandpa's face is looking swell,
The nose job I performed went well
And oh, the groupings I can make,
Christmas, birthdays?--piece of cake!
But how 'bout pets--alive and late?
Students who DIDN'T graduate?
Great big weddings to former spouses,
Aunts with mustaches--old houses
Here's where I was thin one week
Better take a hasty peek.
Cuz here's where I regained each pound,
Plus extra ones to go around.
You start to organize your trips
Put under each one, clever quips.
Triple mats to match your eyes
And die-cut shapes in every size.
Within two weeks you feel real panic
You've changed from artist--to mechanic.
Cousin Roger for no reason
Is on a page on "Change of Seasons."
And here's a shot of Uncle Gus
Beside a stranger on a bus
Why DIDN'T you throw these pictures OUT?
Would the Picture Fairy know--and pout?
Four rolls can never be too many
Of the one time you met Uncle Benny
Or miles and miles and miles of beach.
I think that speck is Robin Leach.
These vistas from the plane are fun,
Too bad the wing's in every one
100 shots of Glacier Park
And 88 are in the dark.
Who cares? They're DOWN! You're nearly through,
Run out of splits? Use Elmer's Glue!
If I never see these folks again
It'll be too soon--where's that Bic pen!
We cannot eat, we have no table
It's covered up with Grandma Mabel
And don't go near the microwave
That's our trip to Crystal Cave.
The phone is ringing, who can find it?
With the family reunion pix behind it?
My family up and moved away
But here's a page from our last day.
And when I die
My epitaph will read:
She's done with photographs!
Conceal and Deny
It happens every day. An otherwise in-control women comes to the counter to purchase scrapbook supplies. Once we tell her the total, she states "My husbands going to kill me!" Are you all really married to ogres who yell every time you spend a penny on Scrapbooking supplies?
All you failed to do was conceal or properly explain your spending habits. And how do I do that, you ask? Here are a few of my favorites.
- Destroy the evidence. Toss all bags and receipts in the trash at the curb.
Slip your supplies into you existing stash and he'll never know.
- Cook your books. After you make a purchase just substitute the name of your local grocery store for the store name in the check registry and when he asks where all the money goes, tell him, "Hey, we have to eat" Caution: Watch out for duplicate checks!
- Bribe the Kids. Keep all potential informers on the payroll. An allowance raise or unlimited Nintendo time might buy their silence, however with toddlers, all bets are off. But hey, if you can sell them Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. You'll think of something.
- If your efforts at concealment fail and you are caught unpacking your latest purchase, these last ditch excuses will come in handy.
- "I've Had That Forever!" If you followed Tip 1, this will be easier than if a dated receipt is hanging out of the bag.
- "It was on Sale!" This excuse does not generally go over well with men, but you can try.
- The Guilt Trip. "I was working on your album as a surprise but now just forget it!" Most effective when accompanied by hysterical weeping.
- Change the subject. Ask him if he's been working out lately. Give him "that look". Make him forget what he was asking you in the first place.
- When all else fails, DENY Everything!
Eight Steps to a Punch-Free Life
- Admit you are powerless under the influence of punches
- Tell your loved ones the truth about how many punches you own
- Apologize to the store employees and UPS drivers for stalking them
- Throw away "will work for punches" sign
- Return punches ripped from the grasp of other scrapbookers
- Let your children play with your punches
- Get a life not a new punch
- Take it one scrapbooking store at a time
The Scrapper's Creed
- I will never leave home without my camera, every day is a potential photo-op.
- No scrap of paper bigger than my smallest punch shall be thrown away.
- I will be there for my fellow scrappettes to offer help, advise or support or just an ear for venting.
- I will gently remind my family (as they're frantically running from me and my camera) that they will thank me someday for the memories.
- I will tolerate husband's comments as to amount of money I spend. I will NOT point out that he has every tool made by Sears, or the latest fishing, golf, boating, etc. accessory known to man.
- I will not covet my neighbor's Xyron, alphabet punches, doodlecutter, etc. (at least not openly).
- I will plan all family vacations to places that have at least one local Scrapbooking Store.
- I will always have at least one album in prominent view at all times should company happen to drop by.
- I will faithfully measure my paper stash and run, not walk, to the scrapbook store when the pile dips below 6".
- I will not show my children the floor plan I have to convert their room for scrapping until they reach adulthood.
- I will take at least one picture of myself weekly so that my grandchildren will know I really was young once.
- I will be forever thankful to Mr. Kodak for his wonderful invention.
- When my husband is old and gray and reminiscing through my scrapbooks I will refrain from saying "I told you you would appreciate my obsession someday." Then I'll snap off some pics of him in his rocker!
A Scrapper's Day!
(by Leora--aka Debbi Seiler)
I want to set the perfect stage,
I begin to plan my album's page,
And without a doubt,
I dream up a terrific layout.
I go to my scrappin' treasure chest,
For I only want the best.
I pull out paper, scissors, and glue,
Oh, the things I've got to do.
With scrapbook magazine in hand,
I begin to crop my daughter playing in the sand.
Yes, an addicted scrapper I am,
I might use my templates of a star, or lamb.
I glue my letters and pictures piece by piece,
Oh, I can't forget to include that one of my niece.
Journaling, I must neatly write,
I now look at my completed page with such delight!
I've captured a moment in time to later share,
The page was made with so much care.
For all these memories I will look at and treasure,
Yes, scrappin' gives me so much pride and pleasure.
With the new day at bay,
I wish each one of you a wonderful day!
Ode to My Wife
She learned to crop on Monday
Her shapes were going fine.
She forgot to thaw our dinner
So we went out to dine . . .
She added die-cuts on Tuesday
She says they really are a must
They actually were quite lovely,
But she forgot to dust . . .
On Wednesday it was stickers,
She says the designs are fun,
What highlights! What shadows!
But the laundry wasn't done.
Her journaling was on Thursday
With Pigma pens, including red,
I guess she really was engrossed,
She never made the bed.
It was acid-free paper on Friday
In colors that she adores.
It never bothered her at all
The crumbs on the floor!
I found a maid on Saturday,
My week is now complete
My wife can crop the hours away
The house will still be neat!
Well, it's already Sunday,
But don't call me a great pop . . .
I cursed! I raved!! I Ranted!
The maid has learned to crop!!!
She's Out of Control
(Toni Sorenson Brown)
Mama's gone crazy,
She's up in the night
Pasting and cutting
to make each page right.
She's creating a book
of memories and tokens
filling it with photos
and poems of hearts broken.
It's acid free paper
and stickers and paste
What once was plain garbage
is no longer waste.
She follows us around
hoping we'll sneeze
So she can have the tissue
"For my scrapbook please."
You Know You're Addicted to Scrapbooking When...
- all of the Internet addresses under your favorite files are scrapping sites.
- after you tell your husband where you'd like to go on your vacation he asks:
"Why, is there a scrapbook store there?"
- the box that holds your paper is too heavy for you to lift.
- the doctor wants to operate on your one-year-old and your first thought is what a cute scrapbook page it will make!
- the first thing you pack when going on your vacation is your scrapbook stuff.
- more than one scrapbook store recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
- a regular sandwich is no longer acceptable...it must be cropped or cut with decorative edges.
- scraps from your corner rounder cuttings can be found in unusual places: school lunch bags, briefcases, the laundry, the dog's water bowl.
- when your car dies in the drive thru at the bank and you call a tow truck, you ask if they can bring a camera because you left yours in the diaper bag at home.
- when you are house hunting the only thing you are concerned about is where you will have your new scrapping space.
- you actually stage pictures to go along with a super sheet of paper you just got.
- you announce to your husband as he is being wheeled into surgery that you forgot the camera so you could make a scrapbook page of his surgery.
- you are sending and receiving scrapping supplies to complete strangers over an e-mail loop.
- you are very excited when the doctor says you can take pictures of him putting the stitches in your child so that you can make a page.
- you beg your husband to take you camping so that you can use the camping stickers and paper you bought even though you despise bugs and camping.
- you burst into tears at the camera store when the clerk tells you that you will have to send your camera to the manufacturer for repairs and it could take six to eight weeks.
- you buy a new swimsuit because it matches the new gingham paper.
- you buy a punch only to come home and discover that you already have that one.
- you buy new scrapbook supplies because you don't know where you put the spares.
- you buy paper towel because the cute design would make really nice clip art!
- you buy something just in case or, you just have to have it.
- you buy your daughter the Little Tykes Art Studio so that you can have a second light box.
- you can be found anywhere in your house if someone follows the trail of little blue squares, paper scraps, and leftovers from trimmed photos.
- you carry a camera everywhere you go.
- you check several scrapbooking message boards every few hours and switch back and forth between them to see if there are any new posts.
- you count stickers instead of sheep to sleep at night.
- you decide to give your child piano lessons so you'll be able to use the musical instrument stickers.
- you decide to buy a canoe because you found stickers and die-cuts to make a page.
- you don't work outside the home and you tell your husband you need a housekeeper to cook, clean and do the laundry!
- you drive all the way across town to get just the right piece of paper that you desperately need to finish the page.
- you encourage your husband to buy that $3,000 watch just so he can't complain how much you spend on scrapbooks.
- you find pieces of tape runner stuck in places inside your underwear!
- you find you need a new house because you've outgrown your scrapbook room.
- you get disgusted with your boss for interrupting you with work issues that take you away from the layout ideas you were trying to print out.
- you get to the cabin for a week-long vacation and realize that you forgot the diapers for your son but you have all your cropping supplies.
- you go to a sale to find some things for your secret pal and end up buying just about everything you saw for yourself and her.
- you hate long distance driving but you will gladly drive 800 miles to a new scrapbook store or expo.
- you have made your husband promise that when your house is added on to...one extra room is to be added for your scrapbook supplies...or no shop for him.
- you have more than two scrapbook projects in the works.
- you have re-done at least one page.
- you have so many die-cuts in your collection that you have forgotten what pages they go to.
- you have so many stickers that you have arranged them according to themes.
- you have scrapbook shops programmed on your speed dialer.
- you have scrapbook stuff in your cubicle at work.
- you have supplies you bought six months ago and have never used them.
- you have yet to get current on your latest project and you're already thinking of a new project.
- you keep buying baby stickers even though your baby pages are done, just in case you need to re-do them.
- you know well that orthodontic work is the equivalent of three new albums.
- you make a beeline to the scrapbook aisle as soon as you enter a store.
- you plan birthday party themes according to the stickers and pretty paper you can purchase.
- you plan your family vacation around that great scrapbook store you heard about in Utah!
- you put the crock pot recipe site into your 'favorites' list so you can spend the day scrapping and still be able to truthfully tell your husband you cooked all day.
- you realize that you've actually worn out your favorite punches and scissors.
- you redecorate your family room to coordinate with your photo album covers.
- you spend more on scrapbook supplies then you do on food on a weekly basis.
- you stage photographs to go with the cute stickers you just bought.
- you start saving every teeny tiny piece of scrap paper you can get your hands on. Including paper that is wrapped around the flowers that your husband brings you.
- you start thinking of having another child just so you can even out the pictures on your pages.
- you take twenty rolls of film and do an eighty-page album of a five-day trip to Disneyworld.
- you try to claim your album purchases as a medical expense because it's such good "therapy".
- you want to send your seven-year old to camp with a camera so she can take pictures so you can do a camping scrapbook.
- you would rather shop for new scrapbooking supplies than a new dress.
- you'd rather scrapbook that eat chocolate.
- your child gets chicken pox and you are excited that you get to use all of those little red dot stickers!
- your child is the only one in class who thinks "crop" means "to cut your photos".
- your children ask you if the toilet paper is acid free.
- your children yell "hurry get the camera this will make a cute page!!"
- your Christmas list begins with a Cropper Hopper and corner rounder (and your husband knows what these are).
- your e-mail address refers to your hobby rather than you.
- your family brings the couch into your scrapbook room so they can spend some time with you.
- your family is eating off TV trays because the dining room table is covered with little scraps of paper.
- your 15-year old dyes her dark brown hair BLONDE three times in four days, and you say "Here, let me take some pictures so I can do a page on this before your hair falls out".
- your husband plans his business travel around your CMC's crop schedule--so he can be home to watch the kids!
- your husband reminds you that it is bedtime and he can't sleep because of that constant snip-snip and the ka-poink noise.
- your scrapbook supplies get the biggest closet in your house.
- your three-year-old wants to know if her coloring book is "archive quality."
- you're arguing with your three year old to give YOUR stickers back!
- you're getting ready to plan your wedding and want to make sure you pick a color theme that will match the wedding album, the wedding stickers, and a single color of acid-free paper.
- you're in a fender bender and you hop out of the car and exclaim "I have the perfect die-cut for this!"
- you're registered for wedding gifts at Michael's and Hobby Lobby.
- you're the only one at a social gathering yelling, "Just one more photo, I don't have enough for a 2-page-spread"
- you're trying to "cure" your tennis elbow (which was caused by scrapbooking) so you have an ice pack wrapped around your elbow for twenty minutes while you "surf" the boards looking for new scrapbooking ideas!
Songs about Scrapbooks
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- My Scrapbook - Jeannie C. Riley (1968)
- Our Old Family Album - Frankie Marvin (1930)
- Pages of My Scrapbook, The - Five Playboys (1957)
- Picture Album Blues - Jimmy Contenta (1962)
- Scrapbook - Chicago (1976)
- Scrapbook, The - Hal Wayne (1974)