This file is about broken relationships, divorce and unrequited love. No matter how good your life is now, chances are you have been on the losing side of a relationship at least once. Some people choose to scrapbook only happy times. But if scrapbooks are to accurately reflect our lives we can't leave out the parts we don't like. I would encourage everyone to make at least a few pages of not-so-great moments. Even if you don't show them to anyone, it helps work through negative feelings. Also see The Difference Between Men and Women, Sad Love Poems, Missing You, Sad Love Song List and Relationship Humor.

Page Toppers


Without My Soul Mate

Now that you are gone,
I die a little every day.
Imperceptibly I fade away
The energy I felt that came through you
Is there no longer, you must feel it too.
The fire that consumed us burnt down too low.
The ashes of dawn to cold to renew
But we are crazed by becoming stars.
While beating out wings
Against invisible bars
Oh that I could love and touch and feel again
The hot passion of Life's river running through me
But I am cast on to a quieter shore
And there is nothing there that can renew me.
Does it show?
How I die a little every day.
Or am I dead already, and in my mind just play hope for nothing
Not even death.
Nor will except in senseless drink or laughter, the working of my fate.
I wait for what comes after.
Wherever I may stray on this senseless path,
I die a little, every day!


Butterflies don't fly
They just hitch hike the winds.
Butterflies are a lie
The deceit is a worm with wings.

A Work of Artifice

(Marge C. Piercy)

The bonsai tree
in the attractive pot
could have grown eighty feet tall
on the side of a mountain
till split by lightning.

But a gardener
carefully pruned it.
It is nine inches high.

Every day as he
whittles back the branches
the gardener croons,

It is your nature
to be small and cozy,
domestic and weak;
how lucky, little tree,
to have a pot to grow in.

With living creatures
one must begin very early
to dwarf their growth:
the bound feet,
the crippled brain,
the hair in curlers,
the hands you
love to touch.


A million words won't bring you back
I know because I've tried,
Neither will a million tears
I know because I've cried.

Comes the Dawn

(Veronica A. Shoffstall)

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
And company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts
And presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head held high and eyes opened,
With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.

You learn to build your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans,
And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much,
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers,
And you learn that you really can endure,
That you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.

And you learn and learn . . .
With every goodbye comes the dawn.

Alone versus Lonely

(Denny Davis)

Solitude is something I usually enjoy
I rarely feel lonely when I am alone
But in that bed with him
I always felt isolated and sad

Now alone in bed I feel relaxed
And free to be me
Still sometimes sad and lonely
But no longer isolated

Whoever it was that said
"I'd rather be lonely for someone
Than lonely with someone"
knew what they were talking about.

The Secret Sits

(Robert Frost)

We dance round in a ring and suppose,
But the Secret sits in the middle and knows.

A Lifetime

It takes a minute to like someone,
an hour to love someone,
and a day to love someone . . .
but it takes a  lifetime to forget someone.

A Scrapbook about a Failed Marriage

I've been scrapping for over a year and am caught up with everything--except a five year period--which is a lot, considering I am 22. Recently I have started to scrap my abusive marriage. I was with my husband from age fifteen to twenty-one and there were a lot of pictures. When I left, I stuffed everything in a box. I've heard about scrapping to cope with a death, but this seemed too morbid. One of the worst things is that the pictures seem so happy--but the memories are not always so. I avoided scrapping because it just didn't seem right; I didn't want to expend the energy; and it seemed like a waste of supplies.
Now that I have started it has been helpful, for all of the reasons I thought it would be a negative experience. I am coming to terms with the fact that this was a major part of my life that I cannot ignore, but the pictures are only part of the story--hence the importance of journaling. These pages are not for others; they are for me. I care about my scrapbooks, but I care about who I am and this project is helping.
I am not a psychologist, so I can not say that this would help anyone else. However, if you know someone that this email might help, please pass it along. It has been hard to do--but I am dealing with things using a hobby that is "safe" for me.

Divorce Album

(Goldie P)

The best thing I did was make a "Divorce Album". I recorded everything about our relationship, both good and bad, from first date to messages of support that friends sent me after the divorce was final.
This was a wonderful thing because:
* I know that I have all the wonderful good times and "in jokes" recorded, and they're sitting on a bookshelf. They aren't lost, but I don't have to hold on to them.
* It was a good way to process the bad stuff in my mind.
* It was a conversation starter with other scrappers. Each time I let someone look through the album and explained what I was doing, it got easier to tell.
* It was a project that kept me busy. I made a list of every place and activity that was significant to us -- from major things like our wedding to little things like getting Slurpies at 7-11, and then set out to get pictures to work with each one. Yes, I went to 7-11 and took pictures of the Slurpie machine. I put a lot of nervous energy into that book!

I told the whole story, even about the stuff that was not for public consumption. I wanted it all in there but I didn't want people to see everything. I handled this in two different ways.
Some topics got pocket pages, with several pages of typed journaling in the pocket. People normally just flipped past those pages without even taking the journaling out.
Other topics got flaps. I attached a piece of paper the size of page to the top only of the page, so you could lift it open. On the outside of the flap, I created a G- or PG-rated layout about the subject. Inside, I put all the nasty details. Then I put page protectors on with the flap closed. People never notice that these pages even have an inside, unless I take the page protectors off. (I took the page protectors off the day I showed it to my therapist. She thought it was a great album and work of healing.)
I remember how much it hurt when he left. I didn't believe this was possible, but I can tell you that it hurts much less now. Life DOES get better.

another Divorce Album Idea

She put the pics she had in and the journaling was very frank. As I recall she told about her decision to marry and then in a nutshell why it didn't work out. She intended it to be a lesson for her children. (She said she was too young and didn't realize what real marriage was about and wished she had listened to a cousin who had tried to talk her into waiting)
She also felt that this WAS a part of her life and should be scrapped and not swept under the rug. She titled the beginning page, "A Lesson in My Life". She kept decorating simple-just backed a photo or two on the pages. I think she ended up with about six sides of photos along with the story and she journaled who was who under the photos. She included group photos which of course had the groom in it and she had one where they were dancing because she looked beautiful in it! But she had mainly the family in her photos. She also threw away a lot with her ex in them. Those wedding photos included some of the last photos of her grandpa so those were special.

"I wish I'd known from the beginning that I was born a strong woman.
What a difference it would have made!
I wish I'd known that I was born a courageous woman;
I've spent so much of my life cowering . . .
I wish I'd known that I'd been born to take on the world;
I wouldn't have run from it for so long,
but run to it with open arms.
(from Excavating Your Authentic Self by Sarah Ban Breathnach)

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Songs about Divorce

Songs about Bad Marriages

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