Also see Knowledge and Learning, Knowledge Song Lists, Foolishness Song Lists, and Word Play.



Quotes


Quotes about History


Math Quotes and Facts


Quotes about Spelling


Quotes about Stupidity


Creative Insults


Famous Last Words


Pet Peeves

When we have a pet peeve it's amazing how often we pet it.


In Honor of Stupid People

If you need proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual product instructions.

On a Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Oh no, that's the only time I have to dry my hair).

On a bag of Frito Chips:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how . . . ?)

On some frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion).

On the bottom of a box containing a dessert:
"Do not turn upside down."
(well . . . duh, a bit late, huh)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."
( . . . and you thought . . . ?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't that save time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could reduce accidents if we could keep 5-year-olds with head-colds off forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
( . . . and I'm taking this because . . . ?)

On many brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to . . . what?)

On a Japanese food processor:
"Not to be used for the other use."
(Somebody, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh . . . fly Delta?)

On a Swedish chain saw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."
(Oh my . . . was there a lot of that happening?)

On a can of insect spray:
Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: This spray is harmful to bees.

On a different brand of insect spray:
Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, and other flying insects. Not tested on animals.

On the CycleAware helmet-mounted mirror:
Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you.

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel:
Warning - Remove lock before driving.

On a packet of juggling balls:
This product contains granules under three millimeters.
Not suitable for children under fourteen years in Europe or eight years in the USA.


IQ Test

Answer questions immediately without thinking

Question 1: You are running a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
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Answer 1: If your answer was 'first place' you are wrong. If you overtake the second person, you take his place and are now in second place.

Question 2: If you overtake the last person, what position are you in?
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Answer 2: If you said second to last you are wrong. You can't overtake the last person because if they are last no one is behind them.

Question 3: Do this quickly in your head only--no pencil and paper or calculator.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
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Answer 3: If you got 5000 that is wrong. The answer is 4100--you can check it with a calculator.

Question 4: Mary's father has five daughters: Nana, Nene, Nini, Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
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Answer 4: Did you answer Nunu? No, of course not. Her name is Mary!

Question 5: A mute person was in a store looking for a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he was able to indicate what he wanted. Later a blind man was searching for sunglasses. How did he indicate what he wanted?
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Answer 5: He just opened his mouth and asked . . . it's really very simple.