This file includes Humor, Political Stuff, Info, Time Line, and Miscellaneous Stuff about the Covid19 pandemic that started in 2020 in the USA.
Also see Laughter is the Best Medicine, Stress, Emotional, and Mental Health, and Patriotism and Politics.

Political Quotes

• I cleaned the TV screen with anti-virus wipes. I lost CNN, MSNBC, NBC, and ABC
• March 2021: What's everyone wearing to the 1-year anniversary of the 14 days to flatten the curve? Asking for a friend.
• If you're waiting for permission from the chief executive to celebrate Independence Day with your family, you clearly don't grasp the concept of Independence Day. (Representative Thomas Massie)
• If your state opens up before you think it should, you can still stay home while others go out. That's called Freedom.
• A politician who adds anything to a stimulus bill not directly related to the pandemic is no better than someone who loots during a natural disaster.
• News Flash: The government is not in charge of Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas. Stop asking if we are still going to have them.
• Only in America in 2020 can you get arrested for opening your business, but not for looting a business. (Phillip Sontag)
• Remember when a lot of people thought nurses were timid and submissive doctor’s helpers? Then the pandemic came and everyone finally realized a nurse is like the Swiss army knife of healthcare and will find a million ways to save your life.
• So . . . you've been eating hotdogs and McChickens all your life, but don't want the vaccine because "you don't know what's in it"?
• Walmart's bathrooms are open but their dressing rooms are not. You can go out to eat with your family but your family is not allowed to go to your doctor appointments. You must wear a mask while walking into a restaurant but you're allowed to take if off once you get seated. You may have a visitor at some hospitals but your husband can't go to your ultrasound appointment. You must put your money in a cup at the drive through but the cashier then touches the same money as well as your bag of food and hands it back. And the biggest red flag of all -- people can go visit prisoners in some states but y'all can't go see your grandparents. This isn't about safety anymore. And it never has been. (Jayme Whitten)
• We are NOT "all in this together"! Politicians and state and local officials have not given up their paycheck. They have not plowed under their fields or slaughtered their livestock or dumped their milk. They have not lost their homes or businesses. They have not laid awake all night wondering how they will feel their families or pay their bills. As they continue to enforce some of their draconian restrictions, not one of them is suffering from their own decisions. They are not now . . . and never will be . . . any part of the "We" in this! (The Silent Majority)

Humor

(Note: The Covid-19 pandemic was terrible in so many ways, but humor and a different way of looking at things helped lift many people's spirits.)

• 1-7-2021 I'd like to cancel my subscription to 2021. I've experienced the free 7-day trial and I'm not interested.
• 3-1-2021 So we just letting March come back after the way it acted last year? (NP Amms)
• 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
• 2020 should just become a new curse word, I don't give a 2020…
• Can we all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the correct answer to the question "where do you see yourself five years from now?"
• Covid-19 protocol evolution:
  3/10/20 Nurses with known exposure will be sent home for 14 days.
  3/18/20 Only nurses with symptoms will be send home for 14 days.
  3-24-20 Only nurse who are dead will be sent home.
  4-12-20 Nurses who were sent home dead will be expected to return to work today.
• Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
• The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.
• During the lockdown all our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being the loser they always thought we were.
• Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
• I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I'm getting tired of the Living Room.
• I just dumped a pack of M&Ms into my mask at work and am slowly eating them like a horse. I love the pandemic.
• I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
• I never thought the comment, "I wouldn't touch him/her with a 6-foot pole" would become a national policy, but here we are!
• If 2020 were a drink it would be colonoscopy prep.
• Imagine if the COVID lockdown had happened twenty years earlier. You would be stuck at home with a Nokia 3310 with 300 texts, a 100-minute call limit, and dial-up internet.
• July 2020 I understand how they can enforce the "no singing in church" rule (sending in undercover agents, bugging buildings, etc.) but I am at a loss at how they intend to enforce the "no screaming on a roller-coaster" rule. Is there going to be a monitor on each car or will they just put a recording device on each car and use voice prints to identify the culprits who break the rules? (Denny Davis)
• March 2020: We are about three weeks away from knowing everyone's true hair color.
• Me: Alexa, what’s the weather this week?
  Alexa: Doesn’t matter, you ain’t going anywhere.
• My goal was to lose 15 pounds this year . . . only 20 left to go.
• My house got TP'd last night, It's now appraised at twice its previous value.
• Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller wearing a mask and ask for money.
• November 2020 It just occurred to me that this would be a terrible time to get accused of a crime. For most of us our only alibi would be that we were home - either alone or with a close family member who might lie for us. Even if we were out and about no store clerk would remember if they saw us because of the masks. And on a lot of security cameras it is hard to recognize people even without masks so that wouldn't help much. (Denny Davis)
• Now that I've live through a plague, I understand why most Renaissance paintings are of chubby women lying around without a bra.
• October 2020: I am not turning my clock back an hour on November 1 because, seriously, none of us need an extra hour of 2020.
• October 2020 Calling all parents! I will be holding a protest in my neighborhood on October 31st around 6pm. Your children are encouraged to come as well. I would suggest you put your child in a costume, as to disguise their identity. Costumes are optional for adults. We will walk around and protest the cancellation of Halloween. Please bring a bucket or bag, so the children can loot the neighborhood for some candy. Spread the work and I'll see you all at the protest. (Troy Crivellone) (Note: This was a response to the decision in many states to not allow trick-or-treating because it was unsafe but to allow protests.)
• October 2020: Today marks five years we've been in 2020.
• On average a panda eats twelve hours a day. A confined human eats like a panda. Hence, the name pandemic.
• September 2020: Due to Covid 19 we are asking rioters to work from home and destroy their own property.
• September 2020: I need to back in shape but I'm kind of waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in it.
• Some governors are limiting the number of people who can come to Thanksgiving but not to funerals. On Thanksgiving we're having a funeral for our pet turkey. In lieu of flowers, please bring a side dish.
• Some of you all got spaghetti sauce stuck in your microwave from 1997 and you're in the store acting like a fool over Lysol.
• Some parents, including me, are beginning to crack during the lockdown. For, example the other day my young daughter asked "Mom, am I adopted". I replied, "Not yet, I just put the ad out yesterday."
• Somewhere someone is showering . . . with a mask on. I just know it.
• This virus has done what no woman has been able to do. Cancel sports, shut down all bars and keep men at home!
• Wife: Did I get fat during quarantine?
  Husband: You weren't really skinny to begin with.
  Time of death 11:00 pm
  Cause: Covid19
• The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house and their kids are yelling at them to stay at home.
• Wearing a mask inside your home is now highly recommended. Not to prevent Covid but to stop you from eating.

Info

• If you are unsure about vaccinations, the answer is literally written in stone. Go to a cemetery. See all the graves of babies and children there from before the 1950s - then very few after the 1950s? That's when people started vaccinating their kids.
• We are not all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some have yachts, some canoes, and some are drowning. Just be kind and help whoever you can.

Misc

• No one should be allowed to drive again until there are no fatal accidents for 14 consecutive days. Then we can slowly begin to phase in certain classes of people who begin driving again, but at only half the posted speed limit. (this puts things in perspective doesn't it)
• It still amazes me that the governor [of NYC] with perhaps the worst COVID response literally took a break in the middle of it to write a book about how it was the best response. (Rory Cooper)
• And just like that, all the parents discovered that the problem was not the teachers after all.
• November 2020: This Thanksgiving, if you see twenty cars at your neighbor's house, and you're thinking about reporting them, go to the fridge and drink a big glass of milk.
  Why? Milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business. (The Conservative Read)
• If you see someone's business open why they shouldn't be you have a choice . . . either go in and support them or mind your own business because they are trying to save theirs! (The Silent Majority)
• March 2020: You're not stuck at home, you're safe at home. One word can change your attitude and one cough can change your life. (I think most people agreed with this in the beginning when the plan was to keep things shut down just long enough and often enough in each location to prevent hospitals from getting over-crowded.)
• July 2020: I looked on several websites that talk about contact tracing. On every one of them they said they ask people to list those they have been less than 6 feet from for a certain number of minutes. Mostly they said 5 minutes but one said 10 and the CDC website said 15 minutes. That leads me to two possible conclusions. If it takes at least 5 minutes to catch covid-19 then why are we wearing masks at stores. Even at the checkout at the grocery store I don't spend more than 5 minutes within 6 feet of any one person. If it doesn't take at least 5 minutes then contact tracing can't be accurate if it leaves out all the people you were close to for less than 5 minutes.(Denny Davis)
• May 2020 Apparently YouTube believes they know which scientists are right and which are wrong. They are removing "content that explicitly disputes the efficacy of local health authority recommended guidance on social distancing" even if the content is by reputable doctors, scientists, etc. who just happen to have a different opinion on how to handle a pandemic.(Denny Davis)

Time Line

• 1-31-20 President Trump closed all travel from China; Democrats called him racist
• 2-1-31 Joe Biden called Trump a Xenophobic and a fearmonger for banning travel from China
• 2-2-20 NYC Health Commissioner Oxiris Barbot said "Join the parades and don't believe the misinformation from President Trump
• 2-2-20 NYC Health Council member Mark Levine said huge crowds are a powerful defiance against the scare tactics of President Trump
• 2-24-20 Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi posted a video from Chinatown in LA calling Trump a racist and telling people to come down and join the crowds (no one in the video were wearing masks or social distancing)
• 3-2-20 NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio urges New Yorkers to get out on the town despite coronavirus and visit the cinema
• 3-13-20 NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio and his health expert tell New Yorkers to use the subway, go to concerts and that coronavirus is no big deal
• 4-3-20 (when the virus was spreading rapidly) Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff announced an investigation of President Trumps handling of the coronavirus crisis (indicating he didn't act nearly quickly enough).
• 1-30-23 (long after things were pretty much back to normal for most of us) The Biden Administration announced it will end the public health emergency (and national emergency) declarations on May 11, 2023. (I'm sure it was hard on him as this will take away some of the ability of the Democrats to enact rules for their benefit and use taxpaper money without being held accountable.)

One Person’s Perspective on the Pandemic

(This was posted on Facebook by Makayla Madden but don’t know if she is the author.)

I respect those who choose to wear a mask.
I respect those who choose not to wear one.
I respect those who choose to shut down their business to protect the health of their loved ones.
I respect those who choose to keep their business open to provide for their loved ones.
I respect the person who avoids seeing their parents or grandparents because they don’t want to put them at risk.
I respect the person who runs to give their parents or grandparents a hug because they don’t know when they might get the chance again.
I respect the person who fears COVID could take their life or they could spread it to someone whose it could and takes extra precautions.
I respect the person who continues to live each day without that thought because they have other issues they’re facing and pouring their energy into.
I respect the person who orders in and helps support door dash drivers because they know they’re high risk.
I respect the person who goes to a restaurant in person and supports servers who might be struggling.
I respect the person who stays away from the gym and works out at home.
I respect the person who goes because it is the only place they have peace and space to work on their health.
I respect the person who opts to get a different job so they are not exposed to more people, because they know that this virus could take their life.
I respect the person who continues to work their job because they feel it is important or they don’t have any other options.
I respect the person who watches church online.
I respect the person who goes in person for the community.
I respect the person who stays on strict lockdown, even when restrictions have been lifted, because they can’t afford to get sick or worse.
I respect the person who chooses to see friends, family, and go out and about, because their mental health is rapidly declining.
I respect all these people, because in the end, while we are trying to point fingers, place blame, and create sides, in reality we are all just going through our natural instinct of self-preservation.
In 2020, we have all been hurled into survival mode no matter what way you look at it.
Whether it’s to feed our family or protect our health and life, or for a lot of us- BOTH- everyone is just trying to survive the best they can right now. And yet we are so quick to shame and call names and ridicule.
Do I want 1-3% of the population to die or have long term, devastating effects of a virus? Absolutely not. They’re all people whose life ending or being altered forever is a tragedy.
Do I want 99-97% of the population to suffer from a global economic crash, mental health decline, or death from poverty? Absolutely not. They’re all people whose life ending or being altered forever is a tragedy.
Do I want to stop seeing my family for an undetermined amount of time? Absolutely not. I love them and want to spend as many moments as I can with them.
Do I want my family to get sick or die and never see them again? Absolutely not but I love them and want to spend as many moments as I can with them.
Do I want people to suffer? Absolutely not.
But no matter what way you slice it, suffering is happening. COVID, businesses being shut down, moments with family lost, weddings canceled, travel halted, stress, worry, financial devastation, foreclosed homes, homelessness, sickness, hospital bills, health declining, heartbreak from death- people are suffering everywhere. And to point a finger and say a person is awful or fearful or “ignorant” or “a sheep” when they’re just trying to survive makes my heart hurt so dang much.
So I say this to you- I respect your decision.
And I hope that respect can continue to be possible between all of us. Because God knows, we need respect. We need compassion. We need grace. need understanding. We need to remember that we can only control ourselves- and for the most part, I think everyone is doing the best they can with what they’ve got. Even if I don’t agree or wouldn’t make their same decisions.

Notice to all Visitors to Kansas in 2020

(author unknown)

We're doing OK here now with COVID cases but we watch in horror as the rest of the country spikes and wonder how long before it makes its way here. So if you plan on vacationing at our rivers, lakes or on our prairies this summer, there are a few things I think you should know:
~~ Red ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to a wetter than usual spring.
~~ Mountain lions have eaten all domesticated animals and some smaller people.
~~ Poison oak has overtaken all other vegetation.
~~ We have had bear sightings in every county.
~~ We have Bigfoots INVADING OUR PARKS.
~~ Porcupines are "stabbing" small children should they dare to enter the forest.
~~ Skunks have multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs.
~~ Murder hornets!?! We’ve got tons of murder hornets.
~~ Head lice now fly... right beside the bats.
~~ And I’m pretty sure all private tiger owners have released them into the streets.
So stay where you are, in your own state or county where it's safe!
Seriously, PLEASE DO NOT COME HERE... and also we have NO TOILET PAPER!!

How Requiring Masks Might Work in Elementary School

(author unknown)

Please don’t snap Billy's mask in his face.
Your mask is not a necklace, bracelet, or any other form of jewelry.
You should not be using your mask as a slingshot. Please put it back on your face.
Please do not chew on your mask.
Your mask should be on your face, not on the back of your head.
I’m sorry your mask is wet, but that's what happens when you lick the inside of it.
I’m sorry you sneezed. Here's a tissue. Wipe out the snot as well as you can.
No, you may not blow your nose in your mask.
And you put it back on your face after you dropped it?
I’m sorry you broke the elastic on your mask by seeing how far the band would stretch. Now you'll have to hold the mask on your face ... or use this duct tape.
Please take the mask off your eyes and watch where you're walking. I don’t care if you have X-ray vision.
Please take the mask off of your pencil and stop twirling it.
I know the mask fits over your pants like a knee pad, but please take it off of your leg and put it on your face.
What do you mean you tried to eat your lunch through your mask?
Please don't share your mask or trade masks. I don’t care if you like Ingrid's mask better than yours.
We're not comparing our masks to other kids' masks… everyone’s mask is unique and special.
You're not a pirate, please take your mask off your eye.
Try to get the gum off as much as you can.
Please don't use your mask to pick your nose.
No, your mask doesn't make it hard to get your work done.
Your Mom will need to get you a new mask since you chewed a hole in that one.
Why is there a shoe print on your mask?
No, you cannot eat the snow through your mask.
Who's making that noise?
I’m sorry your ponytail is stuck, that’s what happens when you see how many times you can wrap it around your mask.
I’m sorry your breath stinks in your mask, maybe we should all try to brush better.
Please take those cookies out of your mask. You are not a chipmunk.

Why My Brain Hurts

(author unknown)

• Basically, you can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can.
• Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
• Stores are closed, except those that are open.
• You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.
• This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
• Gloves won't help, but they can still help.
• Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.
• There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
• The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
• Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February, plus a few tigers here and there…
• You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Oh, my...
• In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no. . .
• It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don't sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old).
• You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.
• If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.
• You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for three hours. Pizza too?
• Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with " I don't want to trigger panic, but . . ."
• You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.
• You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.
• You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can't go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
• The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
• The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten so all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.
• We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of . . .
• We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).
• We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates. . . but we must no longer be locked up for that?

In Praise of Farmers

(author unknown)

This was written about people who were buying up all the groceries they could during the pandemic in 2020 even though there was never a time when grocery stores might be closed. Also, most stores had delivery or free pickup available, so there was no need to buy much more than the usual amount of food.

They ran to the groceries, they filled up their carts,
They emptied the Busch's, Costco and Walmart,
They panicked and fought and then panicked some more,
Then they rushed to their homes and they locked all the doors.
The food will be gone! The milk eggs and cheese!
The yogurt! The apples! The green beans and peas!
The stores have run out, now what will we do?
They'll be starving and looting and nothing to do!
Then they paused, and they listened a moment or two.
And they did hear a sound, rising over the fear,
It started out far, then began to grow near.
But this sound wasn't sad, nor was it new,
The farms were still doing what farms always do.
The food was still coming, though they'd emptied the shelves,
The farms kept it coming, though they struggled themselves,
Though the cities had forgotten from where their food came,
The farms made them food every day, just the same.
Through weather and critics and markets that fall,
The farms kept on farming in spite of it all.
They farmed without thank yous.
They farmed without praise.
They farmed on the hottest and coldest of days.
They'd bought all the food, yet the next day came more,
And the people thought of something they hadn't before.
Maybe food, they thought, doesn't come from a store.
Maybe farmers, perhaps, mean a little bit more.

From a grocery store manager:

(author unknown)

Here's some things everyone should know:
~~ I don't have toilet paper
~~I don't have sanitizer
~~I run out of milk, eggs and meat daily
~~I promise if it's not on the shelf ... it's not in a hidden corner of our back room
~~I have been doing this for 25 years I did not forget how to order product
~~I did not cause the warehouse to be out of product
~~I schedule as much help as I have, including many working TONS of overtime to help YOU
~~I am sorry there are lines at the check-out lanes
~~My team puts themselves in harm's way everyday so you can buy groceries
~~My team works tirelessly to get product on the floor for you to buy
~~My team is exhausted
~~My team is very under-appreciated
~~My team is exposed to more people in one hour than most of you will in a week (medical community excluded, thank you for all that you do!)
~~My team is abused all day by customers who have no idea how ignorant they are
~~My team disinfects every surface possible, every day, so you can grab a wipe from the dispenser, wipe the handle and throw the used wipe in the cart or on the ground... so my team can throw it in the trash for you later

The last thing I will say is this: The next time you are in a grocery store, please pause and think about what you are saying and how you are treating the people you encounter. They are the reason you are able to buy toilet paper, hand sanitizer, milk, eggs and meat. If the store you go to is out of an item maybe find the neighbor or friend that bought enough for a year -- there are hundreds of them -- and ask them to spare one of two. They caused the problem to begin with.