This file includes poems, quotes and humor about teenagers and what it is like parenting them. Also see Growing Up, Birthdays, Girls Growing Up, Coming of Age, and High School and College.
Page Toppers
- Adventures in Babysitting
- And This is My Room!
- Awesome!
- Because I Can
- Bottomless Pit
- But I Need My Own Car
- But Mom, Everyone is Wearing Them
- Caught Thinking
- Cool Chic
- Curfew Blues
- The Dating Game
- First Date
- Freedom is a Driver's License
- Generation Gap
- Grounded Again
- Hangin' Out
- Hip to Be Square
- How I Spent My Summer Vacation
- I Know I'm Not Perfect, But I'm So Close it Scares Me!
- I'm So Cool
- In My Diary
- Is This Cool, or What?
- It Won't Ever Be This Good Again
- It's a Teen Thing
- My Parents, My Problem
- My Phone is My Life
- Never Be This Young Again
- Rant and Rave
- Sabrina the Teenage Witch
- Say What!?
- Shopping is My Life
- So tired
- Some Rays, Some Tunes, Some Fun
- Sweet Sixteen
- Talk to the Hand
- Teen Scene
- Teens Just Wanna Have Fun
- Teen Fling
- Teen Digest
- Teen Scene
- Teen Seen
- Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
- Teenage Nervous Breakdown
- Teens Rule!
- Too Old for Toys, Too Young for Boys
- Totally Cool!
- Twixteen
- Whatever
- Where the Boys Are
- Where the Girls Are
- Where the Teens Are
- Wouldn't You Like to Know?
Quotes and Jokes
- Adolescence is a time of rapid change. Between the ages of twelve and seventeen a parent can age thirty years.
- Ask a teenager now while they still know everything.
- At fourteen you don't need sickness or death for tragedy. (Jessamyn West)
- The best substitute for experience is being sixteen. (Raymond Duncan)
- The best way to keep children at home is to make the atmosphere pleasant and let the air out of the tires. (Dorothy Parker)
- Boss to secretary: "I've got to call home. Send my daughter a telegram to get off the phone."
- Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. (Doug Larson)
- Don't worry about knowing people, make yourself worth knowing.
- I don't need your attitude, I have one of my own.
- I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. (Maya Angelou)
- If my parent's like it, can I exchange it? (Peggy Andy Wyatt)
- If you want to recapture your youth, cut off his allowance. (Al Bernstein)
- The invention of the teenager was a mistake. Once you identify a period of life in which people get to stay out late but don't have to pay taxes--naturally, no one wants to live any other way. (Judith Martin)
- It is not what a teenager knows that bothers his parents, it is how he found out.
- It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they'll know as little as their parents.
- My kids idea of a hard life is to live in a house with only one phone.
- A normal adolescent isn't a normal adolescent if he acts normal. (Judith Viorst)
- Nothing is really lost until your mom can't find it.
- Raising a teenager is like nailing Jell-o to a tree.
- See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.
- Sixteen is the worst age to be. All the things you want most and all the things you can't have are exactly the same.
- Teenage children are quick to correct the deficiencies of their mother and fathers so that those parents, in their old age, will be able to get along on their own.
- A teenage girl does her homework in the same length of time it takes her mother to do the dishes.
- Teenagehood--that time in life when you show your individuality by looking like everyone else.
- Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath. (Arnold H. Glasow)
- That's what being young is all about. You have the courage and the daring to think that you can make a difference. (Ruby Dee)
- There's nothing wrong with teenagers that reasoning with them won't aggravate.
- To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. (Dave Barry)
- The troubles of adolescence eventually all go away--it's like a really long, bad cold. (Dawn Ruelas)
- The weirder you're going to behave, the more normal you should look. It works in reverse, too. When I see a kid with three or four rings in his nose, I know there is absolutely nothing extraordinary about that person. (Oscar Levant)
- You can tell a child is growing up when he stops asking you where he comes from and starts refusing to tell you where he's going.
- The young always have the same problem--how to rebel and conform at the same time. They have now solved this by defying their parents and copying one another. (Quentin Crisp)
- The young are permanently in a state resembling intoxication. (Aristotle)
What's Next?
Mother: "Nylons? Paula's mother lets her wear nylons?! But, honey--you're only in grade one! You're little girls. If you start wearing and doing grown-up things now, what will you do when you get to be a teenager?"
Little girl: "Tammy's cousin shaved her head and painted half of it green."
Four-Letter Words
Teenage boy: "Bleah, What *@*and# weather."
Mother: "Watch your language. What's happening? Can't people express themselves anymore? Every movie, every conversation seems to be peppered with garbage words! There are thousands of wonderful, descriptive words to choose from...why do people today constantly repeat the same stupid four-letter words?!"
Father: "Maybe they like to stick with the ones they can spell!"
How to be?
(Jamie Newland)
How to be?
How to stand?
What to wear?
Should I lend a hand?
When to laugh?
When to cry?
How to hide all that's inside?
To wear my hair low or high?
How to make the time rush by?
What to do?
When to speak?
How to stop my flushing cheeks?
How to say?
How to be?
Once and for all,
Who is me?
Hot Line
(Louella Dunann)
Our daughter, Alicia
Had just turned sixteen,
And was earning the title
Of "Telephone Queen."
For her birthday we gave her
Her own private phone
Along with instructions
To leave ours alone.
Now we still catch her using
Our line, with the stall,
"I can't tie mine up, Mom,
I might get a call."
Cover Girl
(author unknown)
A teenage daughter, parents find,
From everything they've seen or read,
Is quick at making up her mind--
But slow in making up her bed.
Reason for Being
(Mary Margaret De Angelis)
Small babies were made to render joy
To hearts of those around them;
The child recalls to human minds
The wonders that surround them;
Adults were made to rescue worlds
That seem about to crumble;
But teens were made especially
To keep their parents humble.
A Party
(author unknown)
It's always a party
When my friends are here.
We don't need streamers
Or balloons floating near.
'Cuz when we're together,
There's fun everywhere.
Our dreams are confetti
Tossed high in the air.
Thirteen
(Nicholas Gordon)
Thirteen is a very lucky age!
Happiness comes tumbling out the door
Instantly a-giggle with a friend,
Returning with the bounce of empty bliss.
There's no better ecstasy than this,
Even when the strange teen changes end,
Even when one finally knows the score.
No time of life's more bubbly than this stage.
(Note: I suspect Mr. Gordon has never been the parent of a thirteen-year-old!)
Theme Pages for Teens:
- Learning to drive, copy of driver's license
- First car, changing a tire, first destination
- Locker decoration and memorabilia--and combination
- Favorite teachers, coaches, mentors and lessons learned from them
- After-school jobs, copy of first pay check
- Favorite clothes, fads and munchies
- Favorite places and hangouts--include photos, menus, tickets, etc.
- Applying for college, SATs, campus visits
- First date, dances, proms
- Current events and political interests
- Bedroom decor
- Weekend sleep schedule
- Activities and Achievements
- Popular music, television and movies
- Changing hairstyles, first shave, etc
- Blank pages for friends to sign
The Cat Years
(author unknown)
I just realized that while children are dogs--loyal and affectionate--teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on your knees and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting. It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.
Then around age thirteen your adorable little puppy turns into a big old cat. When you tell it to come inside it looks amazed, as if wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your footsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets hungry--then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving.
When you reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture, it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare as if trying to remember where it has seen you before.
You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings.
Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong. Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make your pet behave. Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it, and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter. The more you go toward it wringing your hands, the more it moves away.
Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you have to learn to behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and affection too. Sit still and it will come, seeking the warm, comfortable lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to open the door for it.
One day, your grown up child will walk into the kitchen, give you a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get those dishes for you."
Then you'll realize your cat is a dog again.
A Child's Bill of Rights
(author unknown)
My son came home from school one day,
with that smile on his face.
Watch me blow my Mom away,
I'll put her in her place.
Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
taught by Mr. Wright
It was all about the law today,
The Children's Bill of Rights.
I don't have to clean my room or
even cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to eat
or choose the clothes I wear.
Freedom of speech is my
constitutional guarantee.
It is my choice of what to read
or watch on the TV.
I have the freedom of religion,
and no matter what you say,
I don't have to ask your God for help,
I don't have to kneel to pray.
I can also wear an earring in my ear
or even pierce my nose.
I can have the Devil's number
tattooed across my toes.
Hey, If you ever spank me,
I can charge you with assault.
I can back up all my charges
with the black and blue results.
Don't ever touch my body,
it is for me to use
for all those hugs and kisses
are a form of sex abuse.
Don't fill my head with morals
like your mother did to you.
There's such a thing called mind
control, that is illegal too.
Mom, I have these children's rights.
You can't do a thing to me.
I'll just call the children's services,
better known as C.S.D.
My very first impression was
to toss him out the door,
But here is a chance to teach a lesson
for once and ever more.
I kind of mulled it over,
but I didn't let it go.
This kid of mine doesn't realize,
he is working with a pro.
The next day I took him shopping.
Much to his dismay.
I didn't buy him 501's
or shirts designed by Nike.
I called and talked to C.S.D.
The said they didn't care,
If I bought him Volume shoes,
or a pair of Nike Airs.
I canceled his appointment
to test his driving SKILLS.
I'd probably be dead by now,
If only looks could kill.
I don't have time to stop and eat,
get stuff for you to munch.
I followed C.S.D.'s advice,
I brought you a big sack lunch.
So, you say you're not so hungry,
You can wait till dinnertime.
I am fixing liver and onions,
a favorite dish of mine.
So, you want to get a movie
to watch on the VCR.
Gosh! I sold the television
to buy tires for my car.
I also rented out your room,
You don't really need a bed.
All I really have to do
is put a roof over your head.
As long as I will buy your clothes
and all the food you eat.
I can keep your allowance
and buy me something really neat.
I know you like tacos after
we have shopped all day.
Son, I have my bill of rights,
they go in effect today.
Son, why are you crying?
What are you doing on your knees?
You're asking God to help you,
instead of C.S.D.?
Songs about Curfew
- Curfew - Frankie Paul (1997)
- Curfew Blues - The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (2007)
- If You Break the Curfew - Milton Smalling (2006)
- No Curfew - Pamberi Steel Orchestra (2009)
- Past Curfew - Retroliners (2002)
Songs about Diaries
- Diary - Bread (1972)
- Diary, The - Neil Sedaka (1959)
- Diary of an Empty Day - The Nice (1969)
- I Don't Need a Diary - Charline Arthur (1951)
- In My Diary - The Spinners (1969)
- My Diary - Arthur Lee and Rosa Lee Brooks (1964)
- Put Me in Your Diary - James Ray (1963)
- Small Red Diary - Linda Gail Lewis (1965)
- Teardrops on a Diary - Billy Jack Wills (1954)
- Texas Diary - James T. Horn (1995)
- Your Diary - Ray Pennington (1963)
Songs about Teens
- Ballad of a Teenage Queen - Johnny Cash (1958)
- Ballad of Youth - Richie Sambora (1991)
- Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy - The Tams (1968)
- Because They're Young - Duane Eddy (1960)
- Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man) - Styx (1978)
- Goodbye Young Dreams - Diahann Carroll (1967)
- Never Be This Young Again - Bob Gibson (1995)
- Oh, Very Young - Cat Stevens (1974)
- Only the Young - Journey (1985)
- Open Letter to My Teenage Son - Victor Lundberg (1967)
- So Young - Ray Smith (1958)
- Stay Young - Don Williams (1984)
- Teen Angel - Mark Dinning (1960)
- Teen Beat - Sandy Nelson (1959)
- Teenage Angel - Leon Ashley (1961)
- Teenage Crush - Jerry Max Lane (1975)
- Teen-Age Crush - Rita Robbins (1956)
- Teenage Heaven - Johnny Cymbal (1963)
- Teenage Idol - Ricky Nelson (1962)
- Teenage Letter - Billy Lee Riley (1961)
- Teenage Love is Misery - Jerry Kennedy (1958)
- Teenage Prayer - Gale Storm (1956)
- Teenage Quarrel - Jett Powers (1957)
- Teen-Age Rebel - Arthur Smith and His Crackerjacks (1957)
- Teenage Tango - The Lifeguards (1959)
- Teenager in Love - Dion and the Belmonts (1959)
- Teenager's Romance - Ricky Nelson (1957)
- Teenager's Waltz - Eddy Howard (1955)
- Teens in Jeans From New Orleans, The - Lillian Briggs (1956)
- Too Old for Toys, Too Young for Boys - Sunshine Ruby (1953)
- Too Young - Donny Osmond (1972)
- Too Young to Be Blue - Jerry Reed (1958)
- Too Young to Date - The Delicates (1960)
- Too Young to Die - Teddy Redell (1979)
- Too Young to Marry - Bob Carlin (1996)
- Too Young to Tango - Sunshine Ruby (1953)
- Twixteen - Gene Summers and his Rebels (1959)
- Two Young Hearts - Joe Poovey (1985)
- We're Too Young - Travis and Bob (1959)
- When You're Young and in Love - The Marvelettes (1967)
- Young - Kenny Chesney (2002)
- Young and in Love - Dick and Dee Dee (1963)
- Young Boy, Young Girl - Rick Cua (1989)
- Young Emily - The Freight Hoppers (1998)
- Young Emotions - Ricky Nelson (1960)
- Young Girl - Tommy Overstreet (1976)
- Young Heart - The Collins Kids (1957)
- Young Love - Connie Smith and Nat Stucky (1969)
- Young Love, Strong Love - The Judds (1988)
- Young Lovers - Paul and Paula (1963)
- Young World - Ricky Nelson (1982)
- Younger Girl - The Critters (1966)
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