Also see A Humorous Female Perspective on Aging; Growing Older and For Women Only.

Quotes

• What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every age can be enchanting, provided you live within it. (Brigitte Bardot)
• When I passed forty I dropped pretense, 'cause men like women who got some sense. (Maya Angelou)
• Women over thirty are at their best, but men over thirty are too old to recognize it. (J. Belmondo)

A Woman of My Age

(By Theresa S)

They say . . .

A woman of my age should not let her hair
Fall below the marks of her shoulder.
It will bring the face down
And make her look older.

Furthermore, a woman of my age
Should not were blouses without sleeves
Because her upper arms
Aren't what they should be.

A woman of my age
Should keep her skirts hemline at the knee
Because as you age
There are some things folk's should not see.

A woman of my age
Should wear sensible shoes!
Because of corns and bunions
It is the best thing to do.

But I say . . .

A woman of my age
Should let her hair grow.
When it gets too long
I think she will know.

A woman of my age
Should wear tank tops when it is hot
Whether she can lift fifty pounds,
Or not.

A woman of my age
Knows personally best
The length at which
Her hemlines need rest.

A woman of my age,
How I hate the way it sounds!
We listen to the media
And in its images we drown.

A woman of my age
Is secure and finally sure of herself.
She doesn't long to be nineteen,
But she is not ready for the shelf.

A woman of my age
Should not wear tube tops.
On that point I agree,
But that is where it all stops!

Warning

(Jenny Joseph)

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Grandmas Ain't What They Used to Be!

(jag)

I have made my grandkids web pages,
And keep my friends up to date on their ages,
But more fun is posting pics from motorcycle trips,
And downloading software and games using zips.

Another use is to sell my wares,
And get my friends matched up in pairs.
I love to make new friends all over . . .
I even found myself a lover!

Mixed Feelings About HRT

(Denny Davis)

Estrogen is a wonder drug
your doctor will explain;

It keeps your skin so very soft
and helps you walk without a cane;

It stops those awful night-sweats
so you can sleep again;

It makes your heart last longer--
and the same goes for your brain.

With all those many benefits
I guess I shouldn't complain;

But sometimes I have to wonder
if it's a blessing or a bane -

Having PMS and periods at my age
is an annoyance and a pain!

Thoughts on Older Women

(Andy Rooney)

As I grow in age, I value older women most of all. Here are a few reasons why.

• An older woman will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.
• An older woman knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of fifty give a damn what you might think about her.
• An older single woman usually has had her fill of 'meaningful relationships' and 'commitment'. The last thing she needs in her life is another dopey, clingy, whiny, dependent lover!
• Older women are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.
• Most older women cook well. They care about cleanliness and are generous with praise, often undeserved.
• An older woman has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her best friend because she doesn't trust the guy with other women. Older women couldn't care less.
• Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to an older woman. They already know.
• An older woman looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women or drag queens.
• Once you get past a wrinkle or two, an older woman is far sexier than her younger counterpart. Her libido's stronger, her fear of pregnancy gone. Her experience of lovemaking is honed and reciprocal and she knows how to please a man in ways her daughter could never dream of. (Young men, you have something to look forward to.)
• Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off you are a jerk if you are acting like one.
• Yes, we praise older women for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed babe of seventy there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22 year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize for all of us.
• That men are genetically inferior is no secret. Count your blessings that we die off at a far younger age, leaving you the best part of your lives to appreciate the exquisite woman you've become, without the distraction of some demanding old man clinging and whining his way into your serenity.